Two-Body Problem

Mary sighed as she got ready for bed. Her small apartment was a mess, as usual. Books and papers were strewn everywhere, and the sink was full of unwashed dishes. And the toilet in the bathroom was getting gross again and needed cleaning. But her work as a paralegal at a busy law firm kept her so harried that she barely had time to keep up with the basics of daily life, let alone clean the apartment. At least she had clean clothes for tomorrow; no one at work would know the shame of her home life. That was something at least.

“I need at least two of me to keep up with everything,” she muttered to herself as she climbed into bed. “One to go to work, and one to stay home and take care of things.”

Mr. Pibb, her cat, jumped up onto the bed and curled up next to her. She stroked his orange fur absently as she thought about her life. It was so hectic, and she felt like she was always behind. “Perhaps we need three of me,” she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep, “one to give you all the attention you deserve, Mr. Pibb.”

And with that, she fell asleep.

She woke briefly in the night at a jolt, and wondered if that had been an earthquake. They were less likely in Portland, Oregon, than in other parts of the West Coast, but they did happen occasionally. She rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the morning, a little ahead of the time set on her alarm, she awoke to the sound of Mr. Pibb meowing insistently. She could feel the pressure of him pulling the duvet taught against the side of her body in her oversized bed. The force was on her left… and right… side. Weird. Continuing to lie still, not really wanting to wake up fully, she opened her eyes slightly. What she saw was… weird; almost like she was drunk… she was seeing double. Two slightly different perspectives on the ceiling fan and lamp above her bed. Something was very, very wrong.

She looked to her left, and what she saw became even more misaligned. In one view, she was on the left side of the bed, looking towards the window. In the other, she was on the right side of the bed, and could see a woman next to her, and Mr. Pibb sitting between them, looking at her expectantly.

“Gah!!!” they exclaimed in unison, sitting up quickly. She turned her left head around to look at her other self as well. She reached out leftie's left hand towards rightie's right hand, and they touched. This was real. It wasn't a dream.

Mr. Pibb seemed as confused by the duplication as she was. He meowed again and rubbed against both of her in turn. She reached down absentmindedly to pet him with both hands (well, one from each body), and he purred happily.

“Well, you're going to be happy with this arrangement, Mr. Pibb,” they said in unison. “Two of me to give you attention!”

She turned back to look at herselves. The hair was mussed slightly differently on each of her heads, but otherwise her two halves looked identical. They were wearing the same pajamas and had the same slightly frightened, slightly curious expression on their faces. She regarded herselves carefully. She didn't look too bad for 33 years old and could probably pass for 27. She could stand to lose a few pounds, but otherwise, she looked okay. Her life hadn't really come together the way she'd hoped, but you did the best you could with what you had.

“Two…” “…mouths…” “…to…” “…feed…” “…now,” she said, alternating the words between her two heads. “How am I…” “…going to manage this?” Actually, she was sort of getting the hang of it. It was really no different to having two hands or two legs. If you thought about it too much, you got a massive feeling of vertigo trying to reconcile two radically different perspectives—like you were cross-eyed or drunk—but if you just went with the flow, it was okay. Easy even.

She rolled out of bed on both sides, and then stood up. Leftie was closest to the wardrobe and started to get clothes out for both of her, while rightie headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Leftie joined her in there and she navigated the whole business of peeing. When you have two bladders, it's important to make sure you don't mix them up! But she had the hang of it quickly enough and got both of them sorted out.

Her bodies moved around each other in the small apartment without bumping into each other, and it felt surprisingly natural. Force of habit had her set out just one bowl of cereal for breakfast, which she ate with both bodies in a little symphony of coordinated movements and then needed to refill. She must have two brains, split across the two bodies, but it didn't feel like that. It was just her, doing her thing, but now with two bodies to work with.

As she sat, both of her tried looking at her iPad to catch up on the news before she realized that was stupid and unnecessary: she didn't need both sets of eyes on the device. She realized she'd also gotten out two sets of work clothes. It hardly made sense to send both bodies to the office (two fares for the tram, for one thing, but they also weren't going to pay her double or give her two desks). So she decided that leftie would go to work, and rightie would stay home and take care of the apartment and Mr. Pibb.

Would that work? she wondered. Was there some limit on the distance she could separate the two halves of herself? Well, there was only one way to find out.

Breakfast finished, both of her went into the bedroom to get leftie sorted out for work. It was a bit redundant to use rightie to do up her bra and pass her things, but it was kind of fun.

“And what are you going to do while I'm gone, eh?” leftie asked rightie. It was really just a bit of play acting as both of them were her, but it helped somehow.

“Hide out here and do chores, I guess,” rightie replied. She briefly imagined an argument between the two of them about which one should go, but since they were both her it would be pointless, like an argument about which foot went in a shoe first.

Leaving the apartment while staying there at the same time was weird, and she did briefly feel a bit of that double-perception vertigo again as she stepped out the door with leftie. They regarded themselves briefly which was fine, but it did feel a bit strange as she left rightie standing in the doorway watching herself walk away, with leftie not looking back because she didn't need to. It was just her, after all.

It was early spring, and as she walked down towards the tram stop, she was glad it wasn't too cold and only a little damp from rain earlier in the morning; she looked at the dishes in the sink and didn't really want to deal with them right now. She went into the living room to read something on her iPad, but leftie had grabbed it. She had an old one somewhere, so she started trying to find it; it'd be in her home office, of course, but where? As she rummaged through boxes where she might have put it, she saw the tram arriving and boarded, showing her pass to the driver. Taking a seat, she pulled out her iPad and started to read the news.

Was there any point in looking for the other iPad now, she wondered, given that she was holding the current one in her hands? Well, soon she'd be busy at work and probably wouldn't be able to get it out, so, yeah, it was. She flipped through articles as she continued to search the office and waited for her stop. “There it is!” she exclaimed, pulling out the old iPad from under an ancient pile of papers on her desk. She'd apparently said that on the tram too, and people were looking at her quizzically, but she didn't care. She now had both iPads, and that was important. She gestured to the iPad in her hands to the passengers nearby and they looked away awkwardly.

As she disembarked at her stop, she was trying to find the proper power adapter for the old iPad, but then she realized she could just use the cable she used for her phone. As she waited for it to boot, she climbed the stairs to the law firm where she worked. She was a paralegal, and her job was to help the lawyers prepare cases, do research, and manage documents. At one time she'd thought there was some kind of ladder she'd climb to become a lawyer herself, but after a few years of working there, she'd realized that wasn't going to happen. She was okay with that; she liked the work she did, and it paid the bills.

By the time she was at her desk, looking at three files that had been dumped in her In tray, the old iPad had booted and she was able to relax in the armchair at home, reading the news and sipping a cup of tea. It had a bit of a centering effect on her work self, as she tried to work out exactly what Peter wanted her to do with the Walker case file. It was a mess, and she could see why he'd dumped it on her. She made a list of things to do, and then got to work. As things got more involved at work, she decided to stop trying to read news articles at the same time and do something more physical at home. The obvious thing was that long-overdue washing up.

Several times during the morning, she was struck by just how normal this all felt. Two bodies, one mind. It was a bit weird, but it worked. If you didn't overthink it and give yourself cross-eyed vertigo, it was just fine. Easy. If you had something really challenging, you could give all (or most) of your attention to one body, and let the other one do something more automatic. But for a lot of stuff, you could just use both bodies at once; you could read in one and chat with the other and it was fine.

As lunchtime rolled around, both bodies were getting a bit hungry. Leftie could go to the sandwich shop on the corner, but rightie would need to make something at home. She decided to stagger the timing a bit so that while she was waiting in line for her sandwich, she was reading a longer article on her iPad at home, and then once she had the sandwich and got out her other iPad and continued reading from where she'd left off, she rummaged through the fridge and found some leftovers from last night's dinner, and heated them up. The smell of the rice dish from the microwave didn't quite go with her sandwich at the shop, but well, what were you going to do? Leftie's body was quite satisfied with the sandwich, but rightie's body was still hungry and the spicy rice hit the spot. After the meal, she enjoyed two different coffees, taking a sip from each cup in turn.

As she gazed out of the window of the sandwich shop and across her kitchen at home, she wondered about the broader implications of her situation. She'd been very focused on just getting through the day in this new configuration, but now that she was getting the hang of it, she could think a bit more broadly. She didn't have a boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter), so there was no one she needed to urgently explain all this to, but what did you do when you suddenly had two bodies? Was this some kind of illegal immigration situation? Would the government want to know about this? Would they try to take one of her away for study? No; of course they'd take both of her….

Wow! This stuff could really make your heads spin!

Still, if there was one thing her job as a paralegal had taught her, it was that everything always took way longer than you expected, and there were always more complications than you thought. So not having all the answers on day one was okay. She'd figure it out.

The afternoon at work passed quickly enough. There was a moment when Peter called her into his office to discuss the Walker case, and there was just something so apt about the fact that she was cleaning the toilet at the same moment. The juxtaposition of his smug, patronizing, condescending face with the toilet bowl was just too perfect. She did her laughing at home, and kept her face at work strictly professional. And, of course, just as she was about to leave for the day, Shelley appeared, harried as ever, with just “this one little thing for the Anderson case” that she needed done ASAP. Mary sighed inwardly, but took the file and got to work on it right away. It would be nice if she got overtime for this, but even though the billable hours were tracked, somehow that never translated into actual overtime pay for her.

Just to get herself out of the office sooner, her home self joined in by doing some web-related searches for the Anderson case while leftie was double-checking some case details. Even so, it was dark by the time she was done, and it was raining now, too. She hadn't brought an umbrella, or even the best coat for the weather, so she hurried to the tram stop as fast as she could. The rain was coming down harder now, and she was getting soaked by the time she reached the shelter at the stop. She shivered as she waited for the tram, wishing she'd thought to wear a better coat. At least she was also warm and comfortable at home, which balanced things a bit, but not nearly enough.

She did her best to ignore her leftie body as it stood waiting for the tram, which seemed to be taking forever to arrive, despite the claims of the illuminated sign. At home, she had ingredients for a stir fry, but it had originally been intended for just her—just one body—and now she needed to make it stretch for two. She had eggs and frozen vegetables. She could make it work. She got things ready, but realized that when she got home, she'd be wet and cold, and probably not quite in a state to eat. So she resolved to wait until she was back together again before cooking anything.

Meanwhile, the tram had finally arrived, and she was on her way home. To give leftie something to do rather than just sit there and feel wet and cold, she got out her iPad and started reading a book she'd been meaning to get to for ages. It was a bit hard to get into, so at home, she also got out her other iPad and read the opening there as well. The added focus helped, and also was a good distraction from the cold and damp she was feeling in leftie's body. At home, she put the oven onto its very lowest setting and put some towels in to warm up for when she got back.

Finally, she made another dash through pouring rain to get back to the apartment. She was waiting for herself when she got there, with the door open. Both her faces smiled; there was something indescribably wonderful about coming home to yourself. She stepped inside, and rightie immediately wrapped a warm towel around leftie's shivering body. The warmth from the oven towels was a godsend, and quickly enough with all hands to the pump, leftie was out of her wet clothes and in a bathrobe, feeling much better. There was a bit of a cacophony of arms as she tried to dry her hair; you really don't need four arms for that—even if you do manage to avoid crashing them into each other.

Her two perspectives were interesting. Rightie could see leftie's slightly put-out but rather cute expression as she got herself sorted out, and leftie could see rightie's care and concern, both facets of her state of mind as she took care of herself. It was a bit like looking into a mirror, but with more depth and complexity.

“Dinner,” she announced to herselves in unison. “Stir fry!” She set to work together, chopping vegetables, scrambling eggs, and stir-frying everything in the big wok. It was a bit chaotic with two sets of hands, but she managed to avoid getting in her own way most of the time. The end result was a meal whose deliciousness was only amplified by two mouths to enjoy it with. As she ate, she also continued reading the book she'd started, doing so on both iPads at once. It felt like there was an amplification effect there, too: she was really making the scenes of the book come alive in her mind in a way she didn't think she'd have managed with just one body or brain. This was pretty cool.

With two sets of hands, clean up was a snap, and she began looking for something to watch on Netflix as she finished up in the kitchen. She fixed herself a drink, and then remembered and fixed herself a second one—old habits die hard! Meanwhile, she'd found a new drama on Netflix that looked interesting, and she joined herself on the couch to watch it, passing herself one of the drinks.

It felt so natural to cuddle up to herself on the couch. It seemed right to pamper her leftie body a bit, as it'd had a long day out in the rain. She wrapped an arm around leftie's shoulders, and leaned her leftie body into the embrace. It was really no different than clasping your hands together for warmth or hugging yourself, except much better. As the show played, she found herself getting drawn into the story more deeply than she'd expected. When both sets of eyes were focused on the same thing, that surely was a lot of attention being paid. Maybe more attention than it deserved, actually, so she shifted around and put her head in her lap, letting leftie's eyes close as she enjoyed the sensation of stroking her own hair. This really was the life. She didn't know how this had happened, but she didn't care; it was awesome.

On a whim, before bed, she took herself into the bedroom and gave herself a massage. That was about the best thing ever, too. You didn't need to say to someone else, “Oh, get this spot, no, a bit lower, a bit to the left…” You just knew exactly where to go and what to do. She massaged her own shoulders and neck, and then her back, and then her legs. It was heavenly. As she lay back on the bed, she felt completely relaxed and happy.

It was a wrench to need to get up, clean her teeth, and get ready for bed (she'd take a shower in the morning, she resolved), so she did it one at a time, leaving the other body to enjoy snuggling under the duvet. Finally, both of her were in bed, and she felt completely content. She put her arm around herself again, and drifted off to sleep, feeling happier than she had in a long time. Two bodies were definitely better than one!

---

She was at work, dealing with the Anderson case files, when she suddenly realized something was wrong. She only had one body! She couldn't remember the morning—what had happened?—but somehow this gift she'd been given had been snatched away. The grief was like a knife in her chest and she sat up, gasping for breath, aware instantly that it was just a dream, and in the darkness of her bedroom that her two bodies and Mr. Pibb were all there, safe and sound. She hugged herself tightly, grateful beyond words that this was real, and that she still had both of her bodies. It was only 5 a.m., so she lay back down, snuggling leftie into rightie's shoulder, and stroking her own hair, soothing herself back to sleep.

At 7 a.m., she woke from another dream. This one had been more… intimate. She should have realized when she gave herself the massage last night the possibilities that act had opened up. No one knows what you'd like more than you do, so of course it was going to be good. It probably broke every taboo on the list, but yeah, someday she would have to give it a go for real. She kissed the top of her head gently, and then got up to start the day. Both of her bodies definitely needed a shower this morning! She debated whether to do them individually or together, but she was rather afraid that if she did them together, it might end up as some kind of soapy shower-sex scene, and she really needed some time to work through some of those taboos first…. (Oh! And also not be late for work!).

As rightie showered and leftie sorted out food for Mr. Pibb and began getting breakfast ready, she tried to think about the longer term. Some people had identical twins, so she wasn't that far outside the norm. She could play-act twins easily enough. Sometimes twins even finished each other's sentences! But maybe she shouldn't do things like that. Should she try to give one of her bodies a different look? A different hairstyle, or different clothes? That might help sell the twins illusion, but she liked the symmetry of both bodies being so similar; it was like looking into a mirror, and that was comforting. Wordlessly, as she mulled these things, she swapped places with herself, so that leftie was now in the shower and rightie was making the coffee and finishing up getting breakfast ready. Clothes, though, they could be different. She could wear a skirt with one body and pants with the other, or do different colors. That would help sell the illusion of two different people.

She also considered who, if anyone, she might tell the truth of her situation to. Her mother, in New Jersey, would probably think she was crazy. Her brother, the San Francisco tech-bro, might think it was cool—if she could ever persuade him to actually bother listening to a word she said—but then he'd blab about it to basically everyone he knew. No, she couldn't tell him. Moving west from New Jersey had been the right move for her, getting her out of Nowheresville and into a city with a good vibe, but she hadn't really built a friend group here yet. She did meet up regularly with Lisa for hikes, but, well, Lisa was probably just going to tell her that her chi was misaligned or something equally woo-woo if she told her about this. No. It wasn't time to share the truth yet. She could handle it. She'd keep it to herselves. But no more hiding out at home.

She'd realized that she needed two purses, and so while she looked in the bedroom closet for a good choice that wasn't totally worn out or intended for fancy occasions, in the kitchen she went through her usual purse and separated out some credit cards for each of her bodies to use. Honestly, whichever one wasn't at work probably needed the bulk of the cards and money and similar things, as that one would be more likely to run errands and do shopping.

Rightie dropped the purse she'd found for her to sort things into and went into the bedroom to dress for work. It had been leftie who'd gone in yesterday, but it seemed only fair to alternate. She didn't have two driver's licenses, but she did have a passport card, so she could use that if she ever needed to prove her identity. So long as both bodies weren't in a situation where they'd be handing over ID at the same time, she should be fine.

While she brushed her hair and got herself presentable for work, she checked the weather and then grabbed an appropriate coat from the closet and an umbrella from the stand by the door. She held the coat for herself and then handed herself the umbrella. “Have a nice day, dear,” she said to herself, rolling her eyes at her silliness. “You, too, hon,” she replied through rightie as she headed out the door.

It wasn't supposed to rain until the afternoon, so she decided to get her other body out of the apartment as well and go for a walk and get in a bit of shopping since there was another mouth to feed now. As she walked to the tram, she was wearing her usual work clothes—a skirt and blouse under her puffy jacket—but since leftie was doing the day off thing, it seemed sensible to go with jeans and a sweater and a thinner jacket. She wished she'd figured out this plan sooner as she could have walked out with herself, but oh, well. Next time. And she was glad she hadn't had to do the identical-twin pretense yet. But she did sort of want to….

As she caught the tram, she was in the bathroom messing with her hair. She'd dug out an old can of mousse and used it to give her hair a more tousled look. It was subtle, but it made a difference. She found some eye shadow as well and ended up with a bit of a Portland Goth Girl vibe going on. She liked it. It was fun to experiment with her appearance a bit. It was a bit annoying to have to use the mirror again—when she'd been getting the rightie body sorted for work, she'd just used her leftie eyes to see how she looked, but sometimes you needed to do things the traditional way. She got off the tram and took the stairs up to work as she picked up her spare set of keys and headed out of the apartment.

The sky was supposed to cloud over pretty soon (it was Portland!), but for now the sky was blue and the air crisp and fresh. She enjoyed the walk to the grocery store, feeling the sun on her face. It helped offset her feelings about the Walker case, which was back in her In tray with still more notes from Peter about what he wanted done. She wasn't sure if it was better or worse to be outside enjoying the fresh air while also cooped up in the office dealing with legal minutiae. Probably better, she decided. As she ambled towards the park, she devoted most of her attention to Peter's latest demands and managed to work out a plan of action for the case. She was so engrossed in it that she almost walked into someone on the sidewalk on her way to the park. She apologized profusely and then continued on her way.

She found a bench in the park and regarded it as she puzzled over a search she was trying to do at work. The bench wasn't totally dry from yesterday's rain, but it wasn't too bad. Her jeans would likely get a bit damp, but that was okay; they'd dry off again in the grocery store in a bit. For now, she zoned out a bit, watching the park idly and mostly focusing her attention on the legal research she needed to do. It really helped to be able to split your attention. While she was typing some things up, she wondered about the Anderson case Shelley had dumped on her yesterday and whether Shelley was happy with how she'd dealt with it. In the park, she got her phone out of her pocket and called herself at work. She answered just as her desk phone started to ring, created a conference call, called Shelley, and then dropped her work self from the call, making it seem like an internal call to Shelley while actually calling in from outside. She asked Shelley if she was happy with how the Anderson case stuff had been done, and Shelley said, “Yes,” but then started talking about the upcoming Miller case and what she needed done for that. Mary made some notes and then ended the call, feeling pleased with how smoothly the call had gone. If she hadn't checked in with Shelley, she'd bet that sometime later on in the day she would have shown up at her desk—probably at 5:30 p.m., just as she'd started to leave—with the Miller case file and demanded she do the work right then. But now she could get a head start on it. She packed up her things and headed to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner.

As she wandered the aisles at Trader Joe’s, she was struck by the realization that it actually helped to have two mouths to feed instead of one. Many of their pre-packaged meals were designed for two people, so now she could buy those and have them for dinner without worrying about trying to cook half a package or deal with leftovers. It made shopping easier, and meal planning easier, too. She delighted in choosing some things from their Indian curry selection, knowing that now she could have a variety of dishes rather than just the one or two she'd normally get for herself. She picked up some naan bread, and a broader selection of curries. She also bought a few new things to try, and a dessert or two. It felt indulgent, but well, she deserved it. Two bodies to feed now, after all. There was a bit of sticker shock at the checkout, but she paid it without complaint. It was worth it.

“Mary!” a voice called out as she left the store. She turned to see Lisa, her hiking buddy, waving at her. Shit! She had a bit of a deer caught in the headlights moment, and at work, where she was talking to Megan about her sister's new baby, she ground to a halt mid-sentence. All her attention was on Lisa. She thought things through rapidly. She was already dressed as a trial run for the identical-twin look, so it only made sense to go with that plan. She also already had a startled expression on her face, so it wasn't that hard to turn that into a confused look.

“Do I know you?” she ventured. (Meanwhile, at work she rallied; apologizing and explaining that she'd just remembered something that had derailed her train of thought. Either way, Megan didn't seem too bothered, and just launched back into her story about how her sister was raising her daughter the wrong way.)

Her name. She wouldn't be called “Mary,” would she? And if she was Mary's identical-twin sister, she'd have known mix-ups happen, and she'd have had them all the time. So this would be normal. Expected. Right? Right.

She smiled. “I heard you say ‘Mary’? I bet you're thinking of my sister? I'm her twin, Alex. We get mixed up all the time!” She had no idea where the name Alex had come from, but it sounded good. Or good enough, anyway; she was stuck with it now.

Lisa looked a bit confused, but then she nodded slowly, saying, “What a dark horse! I had no idea Mary had a twin. Wow, small world!” She laughed as she looked “Alex” up and down. “You sure look like you fit right in here, but are you from out of town?”

“I actually dropped in yesterday, but I'm planning on sticking around for a bit; I'm staying with Mary for now. So you're one of her friends?” She hoped Lisa wouldn't ask too many questions.

“Yeah, we met at a yoga class a few months ago. I know I'm a bit older, but Mary seemed like maybe she needed a friend, so I hung around after class one day, and we found we both wanted to do a bit of hiking, and so that's how it started. We go out every couple of weeks.”

Lisa smiled warmly. “You should come along sometime!”

“Yeah, I'll see if she's up for it. I love hiking.” She felt a bit guilty lying to Lisa, but there was no way she could explain the truth of her situation. “Well, I should get going. It was nice to meet you!” She waved goodbye and hurried off down the street, feeling a bit breathless. At work, the frazzled feeling from the encounter with Lisa was a bit disruptive to her flow, but she took a quick break to get herself a coffee and was able to get her focus back on the Walker case and make some progress.

She walked back home with her groceries as she worked on Peter's third set of demands for the Walker case. When she arrived home, it was still only 11 a.m. so she decided to make lunch for both of her and bring it to herself at work. She'd bought some rolls at Trader Joe’s and made up two pretty decent sandwiches with some deli meat (ham on one, turkey on the other), cheese, lettuce, and tomato. She packed them up with some chips and a couple of pieces of fruit, and then headed back out the door. On her way to the tram stop she realized she only had the one tram pass, which was with her at work, so she had to buy a ticket for the trip. It was a bit annoying, but she could afford it, and what else was she supposed to do?

She arrived at work around noon and tried to decide whether to go in or come out. In the end, rightie came out. She made a show of greeting herself to seem like she was two people meeting up, and then she walked herselves over to a small plaza with some benches where she could sit and eat. She sat next to herself rather than opposite, and stroked her arm in an absent-minded affectionate way.

She thought about faking up a conversation as she enjoyed the double pleasure of two sandwiches at once, but it didn't seem like anyone would be watching her closely enough to notice, so she just ate in companionable silence. It was nice to have someone to share a meal with, even if it was just herself. She was just finishing up when Meghan from work spotted her.

“Who's this?” Meghan exclaimed, walking over. “I didn't know Mary had a twin!”

She froze for a split-second—it was very important in this moment to speak the right words with the right body. That was easy enough when you had the bodies in totally different places, but there was probably more of a risk of a screw-up when both bodies were in the same place doing (mostly) the same thing. She looked at herselves, making it obvious who was who (the hair helped!), and then leftie spoke up.

“Yeah, I'm Alex. I guess she never told you about me, huh?” She smiled and looked at herself, “You embarrassed of me, Mary?”

“No, not at all!” she continued using rightie's voice. “It's just that we don't get to see each other that often, so I guess I just forgot to mention me… I mean you.” She laughed. “We do get mixed up a lot, though. People always think we're the same person. In fact, we can even…”

“…finish each other's sentences!” Leftie finished for her. They both laughed.

“You two are adorable! And so alike!” Meghan gushed. “What a secret to keep! I really want to drag you into the office, Alex, so everyone else can meet you!”

“Oh, I don't think that's necessary,” rightie replied, but she talked over herself with leftie, saying, “Could I? I'd love to see where Mary works!” She was actually a little taken aback at her cognitive dissonance; she was a bit conflicted about going into the office with both bodies and needing to play-act Alex properly, but she also wanted to give her identical-twin act a real field test.

And so both of her went to the office, and she did the whole Alex play-acting thing. It was a bit surreal walking around the office with herself, but she managed to keep it together. Everyone was suitably impressed by the identical-twin story, and she got to meet a lot of her own colleagues and pretend that she was meeting them for the first time and struggling to get their names right. She especially enjoyed calling having Alex call Peter “Pete”, as she knew he absolutely hated that nickname. Soon enough, though, rightie said she had to get back to work, and leftie said she had to get going as well, so they parted ways, agreeing out loud to meet up at home.

Overall, as she got back to working on the Walker file at work and rode the tram home, she felt like her little experiment had gone well. It was probably good that she hadn't pushed it too far with the twins-on-the-same-wavelength thing she'd done with Meghan, but it had been fun to try it out. And it all made sense. No one was ever going to say, “Wait, you only have one mind to go between those two bodies!” That was outside anyone's experience. So she could totally pass.

It was starting to rain when she got leftie back to the apartment, but she'd barely gotten wet at all. She spent the rest of the afternoon getting the place into better shape—doing laundry, tidying, and trying to make a dent in the hellscape that was her home office. At work, she managed to get both Peter and Shelley off her back for the rest of the day, which let her make it out of the office on time for once.

On the street outside the office, there was an AT&T store, and she popped in and grabbed a second SIM card she could put into an old phone she had lying around—she was sure it was in the office and would look for it in a moment when she was done in the kitchen. She went with a simple prepaid plan; she didn't need anything fancy. But with two phones, each of her bodies could have their own phone number, which would help sell the identical-twin illusion. She thought about opening up her finances spreadsheet at home to make sure that all these extra expenses were going to be manageable, but in the end, she decided to just leave it for later. She was sure she could make it work.

The ride on the tram home was improved with the smell of dinner cooking at home (lasagne for two!).

On a whim, she put on a rain jacket and headed out into the rainy evening to meet herself coming back from the tram. She rounded the corner and saw herself, and it was such a joy. “Hey, there, stranger!” she called out cheerily to her other body.

“Love the look!” she replied to herself using rightie's voice. “You've gone Portland native for sure!”

As her bodies reached each other, they embraced warmly, enjoying the sensation of being together again after a day apart. She linked arms with herself and walked the rest of the way home together. She thought about doing a double-act conversation, but probably no one was looking—and companionable silence was just as plausible between identical twins. She got herselves back to the apartment and both of her headed inside, shaking off the rain.

She needed to get both bodies out of their damp clothes and into something casual for the evening, and in the moment it seemed sensible for her to use each body to undress the other. But one thing led to another, and the lasagne, which was done cooking and keeping warm in the oven, spent a rather long time waiting before a rather flushed couple of Marys got around to eating it. Well. That was one taboo well and truly broken.

She settled down for some more Netflix with her head on her lap, stroking her hair just like last night, except it was rightie's head on leftie's lap this time. It was just as wonderful. She felt so content and happy. She still marveled at whatever magic had caused this to happen to her, but it was the most profound gift you could give to anyone. Idly, she wondered whether some other identical twins were actually people like her, pretending to be two people when they were really one. It was an intriguing thought. How would you ever know?

She headed to bed, needing to sort things out from her… activities earlier in the evening. She showered one body at a time, and worked with both to change the sheets on the bed since it was time that was done anyway and pretty easy to do with two pairs of hands. Finally, both of her were in bed again, and she felt completely content. She put her arm around herself again, and drifted off to sleep, feeling delightfully content. Two bodies were definitely better than one! So much better it wasn't even funny.

---

Over the next few days, Mary settled into her new reality. She gave names to different ways her attention could work: “one track”, “two track”, and “full focus”.

In one-track mode, there was a single narrative track in her mind, and her bodies would be supporting that narrative flow in whatever way was needed; she suspected that the narration and control of non-automatic action ping-ponged between her two brains as needed, but in many ways it was a lot like the way regular people thought and did things.

Two-track mode was more like the way someone can drive a car and hold a conversation with their passenger at the same time. There were two separate narrative tracks going on in her mind, and each body was focused on its own track, but the two tracks were still aware of what the other track was up to. This mode was the most alien to normal human experience—most people can't have two completely separate trains of thought going on at the same time—but for her, it was now second nature. She could read a book in one body while having a conversation in the other, or do legal research in one while cleaning the kitchen in the other. It was a bit like multitasking, but taken to a whole new level.

And then there was full-focus mode, which was a bit like one-track mode, except that the intensity was doubled as two brains put their entire focus on the same thing, like a team of two pulling at once. This mode was great for really challenging tasks, or for really enjoying something, like a movie or a meal. She found that when both bodies were focused on the same thing, it amplified the experience in a way that was hard to describe. It was like having double the attention and appreciation for whatever she was doing. But doing it for an extended period for anything complicated was draining, so it was usually best to drop out of it into either one-track or two-track mode after a while.

Two-track mode was essential for functioning in a world where people expected your two bodies to be two different people doing different things, but it was a bit fragile. If something major happened with one body, dealing with it could easily derail the other body's train of thought. She found that she needed to practice a bit of mental compartmentalization to keep things separate enough—to plough on through unless she really needed to consciously switch modes. It was a skill she was still mastering, but she was getting better every day. Even so, it wasn't that big a deal; regular people lost their train of thought all the time.

Just having names for these modes helped her think about how to use them effectively. She found that she could switch between them quite fluidly now, and it was easy to pick the right mode for the task at hand. She also had a bit of fun doing cross-body coordination. For example, sometimes she'd just serve all the food on one plate and have a single fork and just feed both heads using the same arm. She did the same thing sometimes with a drink on the couch, passing it back and forth between her two mouths. It was a bit silly, but fun.

At home, she also did a bit more practice on the Alex and Mary double act. She found that with a bit of practice, she could get into character quite easily, and it was fun to play-act being two different people. She'd worried she wouldn't be able to keep track of who knew what, but anyone who has watched a TV show or dealt with a circle of friends knows we naturally track what other people know, much like we master object permanence as children and then learn to model other people's minds as we grow up. So it wasn't too hard to keep track of what Alex knew and what Mary knew, and she found that the more she did it, the easier it got.

She also filled in a lot of Alex's backstory. Alex was a bit more adventurous than Mary, and had traveled a bit more. She'd drifted without really pursuing any particular career, focusing more on creative passions that hadn't gone anywhere yet. She was a bit more outgoing, too, and enjoyed meeting new people. Mary was more of a homebody, and preferred quiet nights in with a book or a movie. The differences were subtle, but she thought they'd sell the illusion of two different people well enough.

She found that having an additional sixteen hours in every day was really helpful in a variety of ways. Somehow having one body at work guilted her into cleaning up at home rather than just lazing about reading a book all day, so the apartment got a lot cleaner and tidier. And doing chores at home with two bodies—well, that was a whole other joy in itself. There was a whole “team effort” vibe to it that made things go faster and be more fun. She'd sing as she worked, sometimes doing a duet with herself, sometimes with one body doing beatboxing while the other sang. It was a blast. She found that she could get a lot more reading done, too. With two bodies, she could read twice as many books, or make a key scene more intense with full-focus mode. She was getting through her reading list at an astonishing rate, and doing some law reading as well to keep her skills sharp. She was also getting more exercise, as one body could go for a walk or a hike while the other stayed home and did chores or read. It was a win–win.

There were some limitations, she'd found. She couldn't have one body stay up while the other slept any more than a regular person could close one eye and have half their brain sleep and half awake. But that was fine: why would she want to send one body off to sleep alone when she could cuddle herselves instead?

And while cuddling was great, there was also… sex. Mary had never had a particularly strong libido, and prior to all of this she could go months without any need to “take care of business”, as she called it. To the extent that she thought about it at all, she'd considered herself to be somewhere on the ACE spectrum; she enjoyed the idea of romance and cuteness, but didn't really relate to the urges that other people seemed to have for physical intimacy—and certainly not lusty feelings. But that second night, when the lasagna had to wait (a proof in itself!) had really opened her eyes to the possibilities. There was clearly some kind of self-reinforcing feedback loop that she could trigger, and if she did, well, that would be… delayed lasagna. But she quickly enough figured out how to make triggering that loop intentional, or to avoid it, so she'd only… challenged her expected schedule once since the lasagna incident. Someday she might play-act Alex and Mary the twins and really break all the taboos, but that might be a step too far.

---

When Sunday's afternoon hike with Lisa rolled around, Mary was centered and ready. She found hiking clothes for both bodies and flipped a mental coin to decide which body was going to be Alex today. Leftie won the toss, so she rocked the more Portland Goth Hiker vibe, whereas rightie went for Mary's more classic outdoorsy look. She packed a backpack with snacks and water for herselves, and headed out the door.

She and Lisa liked to use a classic Portland location for their hikes: the Forest Park area, a large urban forest with a network of trails that wound through the trees and hills just a few miles from downtown Portland. It was a favorite spot for locals to get out into nature without having to drive far. Mary didn't have a car, and Lisa liked to drive the route between her house and the park, so she'd just walk over to Lisa's place and they'd go to the park from there. As she neared Lisa's small house, Mary exchanged glances with herselves and got into character, with leftie doing Alex and rightie doing Mary. Alex had never been here before, of course, so would be looking around like it was all new, whereas Mary could stride forward purposefully, knowing the way.

“Hey, Mary! And, uh… Alex, right?” Lisa greeted them. Apparently she'd been standing outside by her car, killing time on her phone while she waiting for them.

Mary smiled and waved, but Alex, who had (quite intentionally) been set up to look in the wrong direction, did a great impression of seeming startled.

“Hi, uh…” Alex began and stalled out as if she was blanking on Lisa's name.

“Lisa,” Mary supplied helpfully, “I did remind you, like five minutes ago!” She laughed.

Alex rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I guess I'm a bit scatterbrained today!” She smiled apologetically. “It's so nice to meet you again, Lisa. Mary has told me so much about you since then! Oh, and I call shotgun!”

Now Mary rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, she always does that. And you wonder why I'd edited her out, Lisa? If I'd even mentioned her, she'd have somehow dominated the story!”

The hike was fun, with Mary doing a pitch-perfect rendition of the Alex-and-Mary double act. Lisa was absolutely charmed by Alex, and really wanted to encourage her to stay in Portland as a way to pursue her creative passions. Somehow, Mary noted, the Alex persona really did seem pretty cool and interesting, and it felt like less of a false facade than just a different facet of her own personality brought to the fore. She found herself enjoying being Alex as much as being work-a-day Mary.

Although Lisa couldn't do it every Sunday, tonight they could all do dinner together after the hike, so they headed for a bar–restaurant that did good pub food and had a nice outdoor seating area.

Maybe because of the alcohol, Mary made two mistakes at the restaurant. Alex had ordered salmon with a miso glaze, and it was absolutely fantastic. As Alex was taking her first bite, Mary exclaimed “Oh, my god, that tastes amazing!” Lisa looked a bit confused, but she used Alex to quickly cover for her error, saying, “She can read my face better than anyone! Twins, it's a same-wavelength thing!” Lisa laughed and nodded, accepting the explanation. But then, to try to drive the point home, Mary asked for a bit of the salmon to actually taste it for herself (not that she needed to, after all, because she knew exactly how it tasted), and Alex just popped a forkful into Mary's mouth in a movement that was so fluid it had an uncanny valley feel to it. Luckily, Lisa apparently just thought it was another twin thing, so she just laughed and said, “Wow, you two are something else!”

The bar was close enough to Lisa's house that she just left her car parked on the street and they all walked back together, a little inebriated and happy. As they reached Lisa's front door, Lisa turned to Alex. “You know, I think you're really good for Mary. She seems so much more… alive when you're around. But don't just be Mary's catalyst, okay? You should do your own thing, too. Portland's a great place for creative types; you could really make a go of it here.”

Walking home by herselves, Mary half stayed in double-act mode, talking to herself out loud as she walked.

“Maybe I should be embracing some of that creative side stuff more, huh?” leftie-as-Alex mused.

“But I was hoping to maybe go to law school on the side or something,” rightie-as-Mary replied. “I mean, it would be good to be more than just a paralegal, right?”

“More money, sure, but more work, too. I kinda like just being a paralegal. Less stress,” not-really-Alex-at-this-point replied.

“Well, you do that and I'll have all the creative fun then,” Mary-as-Mary-who-kinda-liked-the-idea-of-being-Alex said with a smile. “Deal?”

“That doesn't make any sense at all,” they both exclaimed in unison, laughing. “But deal!”

Observing her muddled thoughts, she chuckled and had leftie and rightie turn to face each other like they were a mirror. “Now don't forget,” she continued in unison, as she used both bodies to gesture at the other one emphatically, “you are [Mary/Alex] and I am [Alex/Mary]! Keep it together!” She'd probably drunk more than she should have, which was a thing to keep in mind for next time. Right now, she couldn't tell whether she was doing the double act really well (because each body said the right names in speech that was otherwise in unison) or really badly (because she was having this conversation at all)! But she wrapped her arms around her shoulders and continued home, being her own best source of support.

Eventually, she made it home and both bodies flopped onto the bed, exhausted but happy. She ought to clean her teeth and get ready for bed, but a nap was calling and so she gave in to it, snuggling both bodies together under the duvet and drifting off to sleep. This was the life.

---

In the early part of the next week, a week Mary seemed to be negotiating very successfully, she got a call from her mom. Rightie had the Mary cellphone (and leftie had the Alex phone), so rightie answered it but put it on speaker so that both of herselves could hear easily. Mom deserved full focus.

“What's up, Mom?” rightie asked cheerily, stroking Mr. Pibb as she spoke.

“I'm fed up with this weather!” her mom exclaimed. “The snow is just about melted, but everything is brown and horrible. So I've decided I'm going to get on a plane and come visit you for a bit! I need a change of scenery. I'll be there on Saturday afternoon. Can you pick me up from the airport?”

Mary exchanged glances with herselves. This was so like her mom, to just assume that everyone else was available at her demand. And, true to form, she was announcing her visit as a fait accompli, with everyone else having to adjust their plans to accommodate hers.

Still, it would be nice to see Mom again; she hadn't visited as much since Dad had passed away a few years ago, and Mary missed her mom. But then there was her… two-body problem. She wasn't sure how she'd explain it, but at least she'd have a few days to think about it. “Sure, Mom, I can pick you up. It'll be great to see you!”

“Great! 2:45 p.m., Terminal C. See you then!” And with that, the call ended.

Her mom hadn't said how long she was planning to stay, because, hey, who needed to know that in advance? Mom's lack of consideration helped Mary come to a decision. She had considered trying to hide her situation, but if her mom could just expect everyone to accept whatever she was delivering, then Mary could just as easily do the same. Maybe it was a bit mean, but she'd just bring both bodies to the airport to pick her up and let Mom be the one reeling from an unexpected situation for a change.

She looked back at herselves and shrugged. Someone needed to be the first one to know the unvarnished truth (well, not including the lasagna), and who better to tell than your own mother? Right? At least in person she couldn't deny the evidence like she would have if Mary had told her on the phone.

Her mom obviously hadn't considered the fact that Mary didn't own a car when she'd demanded a pickup from the airport—all those conversations they'd had about the walkability and the great public transit here apparently hadn't made it into her long-term memory—but she did have a driver's license and a card for a car-share service. She was pleased to find that it was early enough in the week that there were still cars available for the weekend, so she reserved one for Saturday afternoon. She wasn't sure what she would have done if Mom had waited until later in the week to mention her trip.

While she was at work on Wednesday, she went out shopping for an outfit to meet her mom in. She had lots of good casual outfits at home, but she wanted to have a fully matched pair of outfits—two of everything, so she could really emphasize that she had two identical bodies now. But she was torn on the vibe. She could go with classic Mary, which might even mean wearing a dress, or she could go full-on Alex Portland Goth (well, not that goth really, but pretty goth for Mary). In the end, she went with a layered look, with jeans, a graphic tee shirt, a plaid shirt over that, and a cute jacket that made it all a little bit femme. The clerk seemed a bit puzzled by her buying two of everything, but, hey, it was Portland.

Once she'd come home from work and given herself a hug, which was always a nice way to celebrate being back together in the same place again, she headed to the bedroom to try on her new outfits. While she'd been waiting for her other body to come home, she'd straightened out her hair to look more like classic Mary compared to errands Alex, so both leftie and rightie looked pretty much identical; once they'd dressed, they really were a perfect pair. She couldn't help putting on some music and doing a little synchronized dance number in front of the mirror, enjoying the symmetry of it all. She wondered how her mom would react to seeing two of her now. It was probably going to be quite a shock. She might blow a fuse. Well, that was her problem, not Mary's. That'd teach her to show up suddenly!

Eventually, Saturday afternoon rolled around. Mary made sure both bodies were dressed and ready to go with their matching outfits, and then she headed out the door to pick up her mom from the airport, grabbing the Zip car from the nearby parking lot. After having more time to think about her plan, she'd started to feel a bit nervous about how her mom would react, but she was also excited about seeing her again after so long. One way or the other, it was going to be an interesting reunion.

Leftie drove, and once she'd gotten herselves to the airport, it seemed best to just leave leftie in the car in the parking lot while rightie went to meet her mom. She played music in the car as she waited, and that kept all of her entertained as rightie went into the terminal, checked her mom's flight information, and then waited by the baggage claim area for her mom to appear. Mary felt a bit of a thrill as she saw her mom come through the gate, scanning the baggage claim area for her daughter. This was going to be fun.

“Look at you!” her mom exclaimed as she spotted rightie. “Haven't you come out of your shell! You look fantastic!” She hugged her daughter warmly. “If this is what Portland does to people, I might have to move here!”

They continued to chat about little things while they waited for her mom's luggage to arrive. Finally, the bags came through, and Mary helped her mom collect them. “Ready to go?” she asked cheerily.

“Lead on, McGruff!” her mom replied with a laugh.

“That's the crime-fighting dog. I think you mean, ‘Lead on McDuff!’” Mary replied, and they both laughed.

As they walked towards the parking garage, leftie got out of the car and began walking towards the terminal; they all met at the garage entrance.

Her mom ground to a halt, looking back and forth between the two identical daughters standing before her. “What the…?” she began, clearly struggling to process what she was seeing. “It can't be… It can't be…” her mom was stammering. She seemed far more emotionally affected than Mary had expected; she'd expected surprise or confusion, maybe even a bit of anger, but instead her mom seemed to be distressed… devastated? Maybe even traumatized?

Leftie was with them now, and her mom touched each of her bodies in turn, trembling as she did so. “But you died…” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. “Alexandra? You were gone…”

What? What had happened here? Alex was a character she'd made up, and her mom didn't even know about that stuff. What? Mary felt like her own world was spinning out of control. “Mom, uh, we're Mary. Both of us. Who is Alexandra?” She was struggling to keep her own voices steady as they spoke in unison.

Everyone was too shaken up to be coherent, so they stumbled their way to the car and put Mom’s bags in the trunk. Leftie opened the rear door for her Mom to get in and then got in the back with her, leaving rightie to drive. Her mom was still trembling as they drove away from the airport, with tears running down her cheeks. Mary wasn't doing well either, and used full-focus mode to make sure her driving was safe, flicking back to two-track mode to try to comfort her mom as best she could. “Mom, please try to calm down. Everything's okay. You've got two of me to love you now.” But that just set her mom off more and she wailed, “Alexandra… Alexandra….” She was inconsolable.

She parked the car back in its spot, still with two hours left on the reservation, and everyone just stayed inside the car, trying to calm down. In bits and pieces, Mary gradually got the story out of her mom. Apparently, Mary had been an identical twin. She and her sister Alexandra had been inseparable as children, but at the age of three, disaster had struck. Alexandra had suddenly died from a mystery illness. There had been no warning signs at all; it all happened so fast.

Mary herself had been inconsolable for weeks and was never quite the same again; from then on she was always a bit withdrawn from the world, like a piece of her soul had been taken away….

But Mom still had Mary, and all she could come up with was to try to cram Alexandra's loss down as best she could and try to move on. No one else had any better ideas. Time passed, they had another kid, Mary's brother, and life went on. Only the grief had never really gone away.

When Mary's dad had died, her mom continued, her grief at losing him somehow resurfaced her long-buried grief over losing Alexandra. But there was no one she could talk to about it. Mary didn't even remember her twin sister; as far as she knew, she'd never had a sister at all. And Mary's brother hadn't even been born when Alexandra had died, so he didn't know either. It had been a family secret, buried deep, and now she was the only one left who remembered. And that hurt all the more.

Then Mom's story took a strange turn. When she was a kid herself, she'd read a book called The Wishing Stone. A couple of weeks ago, she'd been out walking, feeling sad and sorry for herself, and there in the snow, right on the top, was a stone that looked exactly like the one she remembered from the book. Remembering how the story had gone, She'd picked up the stone, held it in her hand, and said, “I know I can't change the past, but I wish I had my twins back. I so wish I did. I miss Alexandra so much,” and then she'd turned and thrown it as hard as she could into the Hudson River. Just like the story said. And now here she was in Portland, with two copies of her daughter Mary in front of her. It was like a miracle, but also a cruel trick of fate, because Alexandra was still gone. She couldn't bring her back. She just had two of Mary, now, and that wasn't the same thing at all.

Mary couldn't help but be struck by the fact that even in all this tragedy, her mom was somehow managing to put her down. Apparently, two Marys were still not as good as one Alexandra. That stung a bit, but she tried to understand where it was coming from. She was shocked to have learned that she had been a twin, and that somehow she'd conjured up her twin's name for her twin play-acting, and that maybe there were two of her because her mom made a wish? But her mom was grieving, and she needed to vent some of that grief. She could process her own feelings later. One of her soothed her while the other reached out and took her mom's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Mom, don't lose hope. Your wish did something, didn't it? Maybe it did more than you know yet?”

Her mom looked up at her with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “Maybe you're right, Mary. You still need to tell me what happened; what's going on… how you're coping with all this…. I've made it all about me, but obviously, it's a big change for you, too.”

Tears were dabbed away, noses were blown, hugs offered and accepted, and everyone headed back to Mary's apartment, where Mr. Pibb greeted their new house guest with a mixture of pride and curiosity that required a ceremony involving multiple head bumps. Mary had done her best to make the office into a guest room for her mom. It was a bit cramped (especially when Mr. Pibb insisted on joining her mom in the room to make it clear to everyone that the bed was really his, but that he'd share), but it would do for now.

After the day's emotional marathon, they ordered in some comfort food, found something mindless to put on the television, and tried to relax and not think too much about all the revelations before calling it an early night. Nothing got explained that evening, which was fine with Mary. But at least her mom wasn't completely freaked out by her two-body situation. That was a good start.

As she cuddled herselves to sleep that night, Mary couldn't help thinking about her coming up with the name Alex for her alter ego. That couldn't be a coincidence. And maybe there were rules for wishes; you couldn't resurrect the dead, but maybe you could get something close. Two Marys instead of one Mary and one Alexandra. Except it was really just one Mary in two bodies. But, still, it was something. Maybe… And with that, she fell asleep.

---

Mary woke the next morning to the sound of her mom pottering about in the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets and drawers so she could get the lay of the land and fix herself some coffee. Mary wanted to send one of her bodies off to help her mom while the other one went back to sleep, but it didn't work like that. But she could at least leave one snuggling and cozy while the other one got up to help her mom. So rightie got up and headed to the kitchen, while leftie stayed in bed, enjoying the warmth.

Her mom looked her up and down with a slightly disgruntled expression on her face, as if she didn't quite approve of the casual sleep tee that Mary was wearing, but an instant later she smiled and said, “Sorry for going to pieces yesterday. I got a miracle and found fault with it. And I'm looking forward to learning more about how this,” she waved her hands around, “all works. I was watching you last night, and you moved around like a perfectly choreographed ballet. It was amazing to see, even if it did bring back some painful memories from when you were little.”

Mary brought leftie in from the bedroom to join them, as it seemed like the conversation might go better with both of her there. She ushered her mom to a seat at the table and set about making breakfast for all three of them, deliberately overdoing it on the coordination-symphony front in an effort to viscerally demonstrate that there were two bodies under the control of a single mind.

Her mom watched her in amazement, and once the food was ready and they'd all sat down at the table she ventured, “So you really have just one mind but two bodies?”

“Yeah. I just woke up one morning and I had two of everything. It probably sounds like a lot to have to deal with, but actually, it's no different from having two eyes or two hands; you get used to it pretty quickly.” Mary smiled. “It's like the most amazing gift, really. I didn't know who to thank for it, but I guess I do now, so thank you, Mom.”

“I suppose you had to tell them at work when two of you showed up. Do they give you two desks or make you share the same one?” her mom asked curiously.

“Oh, I just send in one body to work, and the other one can do other things, like clean up at home, run errands, or study up on something. So it's like I've got way more hours in my day than other people do.” Mary smiled. “It's great.”

“How does that work? Isn't it confusing to be in two different places doing two different things?” her mom asked.

“Uh… it can be sometimes, but it's mostly fine.” Mary replied. “I can focus on one thing with one body while the other body does something else, and I can keep track of both things pretty well. It's like multitasking, but on a whole new level.” She took a bite of her food. “It's a bit like having a really good assistant, except the assistant is me and I always know what I'm doing or could do to help out.”

“So they've never seen both bodies at work then?” her mom asked.

“Well… Uh… actually, I can pretend to be two different people if I need to,” Mary replied, a bit hesitantly. “I made up a character called ‘Alex’, who's like me but a bit more adventurous and outgoing. So sometimes I take one body to work as Mary, and the other body goes out and does other things as Alex. It's a bit of a double act, but it works pretty well. So yeah, at work they've met Alex.”

Her mom drew in a sharp breath. “Alex?” She looked at Mary closely.

“Yeah, I don't know why I picked that name,” Mary replied, feeling a bit sheepish. “I didn't know about Alexandra until you told me yesterday. I guess it must be some kind of subconscious thing. Maybe some deep part of me still remembered somehow.”

“Can you… uh… show me your Alex sometime?” her mom asked hesitantly.

From both the left and right side, Mary took her mom's hands in hers. “Of course, Mom. We can do that after breakfast. But you need to remember that it's all just me. Like a show with glove puppets. There's a left hand and a right hand with different puppets, but there's only one puppeteer.” Mr. Pibb mewed to indicate that if there was any puppeteering going on, he wanted in on it. Mary laughed and gave him a scratch behind the ears.

“I know, dear, I know. But still, it would be nice to see her.” Her mom smiled weakly. “Thank you for explaining all this to me. It's a lot to take in, but I think I understand better now.”

When breakfast was done, Mary made her mom choose which of leftie or rightie she wanted to see as Alex first. Her mom chose leftie, and so leftie headed to the bedroom to put on a more Alex-appropriate outfit—jeans, a band tee shirt, and a flannel shirt tied around the waist, fixed her hair with a bit of mousse, and added a little bit of eye makeup to make her look a bit edgier. When she came back out, her mom's eyes widened in surprise. “Wow, you really do look different! I can totally see how you're influencing Mary here! That outfit at the airport was your doing, wasn't it?”

Mary-as-Mary blushed, while Mary-as-Alex smiled mischievously. “Guilty as charged!” leftie replied. “So, what do you want to know about your favorite daughter, Mom?” (Rightie rolled her eyes at that one.)

“Well, Alex, what do you do for fun?” her mom asked curiously.

“Besides teasing her boss, you mean? Well, I've always been a bit of a free spirit, you know? Not so easy under Mary's thumb, of course, but you know, I do what I can. And I love making things, you know, whether it's art or music or whatever,” leftie smiled. “I just love being creative.”

Mary couldn't help being a bit taken aback by what she was channeling through her Alex persona. It was like a side of her that she didn't really know she had was coming out. But it was kind of fun to explore it.

“Well, I bet Portland is the place for that kind of thing!” her mom exclaimed. “And Mary can help you, won't you, Mary?”

Rightie smiled and nodded. “Absolutely, Mom. Gotta do my best for my alter ego here!”

“Alter ego?!” leftie exclaimed dramatically. “Listen to her. She thinks she's in charge here! Ha!” They both laughed.

Mary didn't quite feel that she was fully in control of her own improvisation, but you had to let these things go where they went. That was the whole thing with doing a character.

“So, uh, is that enough of me doing the twins-act bit?” rightie asked, sort of wanting this whole thing to be over and done with.

“Why?” leftie demanded. “On other days we've kept this up for hours! Mom is clearly enjoying my radiance, so let's not quit now!”

At this point, Mary's two bodies were clearly exposing her internal conflict for all to see. But her mom clearly wanted more of the double act, so the part of her that wanted to quit was clearly outvoted. “Okay, okay, you can have as much Alexandra as you like, Mom,” rightie said. In her heads, Mary winced. That was a low blow, and she wasn't sure where it had come from.

“Someone got out of bed on the wrong side this morning!” leftie exclaimed, apparently enjoying herself. “Come on, Mom, let's go take a walk. Leave Miss Sulky here to clean up and do chores like the demure little thing she is!”

And so off she went with her mom for a walk, channeling Alex the whole time, while she stayed home and cleaned up and tried to process what was going on. She was clearly loving doing the free spirit bit, and her mom was lapping it up. But she also had mixed feelings about what she was doing, like she was trying to blow up the safe and stable world she'd built for herself over the years. There was definitely some cognitive dissonance going on, and she felt more vertigo in her experience of the world than she'd felt any time other than that first crazy day when she woke up with two bodies.

Suddenly, an idea struck her. She went into the bathroom, put mousse in her hair, grabbed some eyeliner, and transformed rightie into Alex as well. She grabbed a good outfit, possibly even more goth than leftie's, and headed out to find them, a smile on her face. This was going to be fun.

When she found them walking along the river path, her mom's eyes widened in surprise again. “Oh my goodness, you two really are identical!” she exclaimed. “I can't believe it! This is amazing!”

Alex grabbed herself in a high-hand-up country-dance style move and twirled around. “I know, right? Like two peas in a pod!” She laughed. “Or two pods with just one pea, I guess!”

This is so much easier than doing two personas in conflict with each other! Alex thought to herself, grinning. She felt a thrill of excitement as she saw her mom's reaction to seeing both of her daughters together. It was like a dream come true for her mom, and Mary felt a deep sense of satisfaction in being able to provide that for her.

“You're too much, Alex!” her mom exclaimed, still beaming. “I can't believe how lucky I am to have two of you!”

“Better than two Marys, that's for sure!” they quipped in unison.

“Oh, Mary is lovely too, don't get me wrong!” her mom replied quickly. “But Alex here is just so… vibrant! I can see where you get your adventurous spirit from now!”

Mom might be satisfied, but Alex didn't really know where she'd come from. She supposed that the whole situation—the stability that Mary's life provided, the strangeness of having two bodies, being able to pretend to be two separate people—was giving herself the chance to explore different ways she could be. If she thought about it, the experience was kind of disturbing. Could she lose herself? At the same time, though, whatever this was, whatever it meant, she was enjoying the ride, even with all the uncertainties it raised.

They ended up having quite the day, hitting the food trucks for lunch, wandering around a local art fair, and then heading to a cozy café for some coffee and pastries. Alex's persona had never been that hard to channel, but somehow it all felt ever more natural as the day went on, since she wasn't doing Mary as a counterbalance anymore. She was just Alex being Alex, and she'd go back to doing Mary later when she needed to. For now, she was happy to just be Alex. And two Alexes at that!

She noticed that she turned a few heads and thought she could easily have gotten the numbers of about six cute-looking boys and four even cuter-looking girls if she'd wanted. But that wasn't really what she was after today, especially not with her mother right here! She was just enjoying being out with her mom, seeing her happy, and exploring this new side of herself. It felt a bit like being on vacation from her usual self, and she was loving every minute of it.

When they'd gotten home, she found that something about being home and tired called out for Mary's calmness. She changed her bodies back into their usual outfits and hairstyles, and settled in for a quiet evening with her mom, who was clearly just as exhausted from the day's excitement and Alex overload. Given the naughtiness of the food they'd eaten during the day, they settled for a light supper of soup and toast, and then they all curled up on the couch to watch a movie together, Mary putting her head in her lap as usual, which her mom seemed to find very endearing.

Finally, the day was done, and she bid her mom goodnight and headed to bed, both bodies snuggling under the duvet as usual and Mr. Pibb settling beside her. It had been a long day, but a good one. The Alexandra her mom had lost was still gone, but you could imagine that maybe, just maybe, Mary's Alex was a bit like how Alexandra might have turned out if she'd lived. And that was something. Maybe it was quite a lot.

---

Monday morning, Mom suggested a day trip to Seattle. “It's only a couple of hours away, and I've always wanted to see the Space Needle,” she said excitedly. “What do you think, Mary?” She shifted her gaze between her daughter's two bodies.

“I've got to work, Mom,” Mary replied in unison. But then she relented, and the leftward body spoke up. “But you can take one of me, I guess. But I'm not going to do full-force Alex, okay? Yesterday was a bit much.”

“I'll take whatever version of you you want to give me, dear,” her mom replied with a smile. “I'll just be happy to spend some time with, uh, one of my daughters.”

“There is only one of me, Mom,” Mary replied gently in unison. Leftie continued, “But sure, you can take me with you.” Rightie added, “And I'll hold down the fort here, you know, earning the money and all that important stuff.”

Thankfully, because it was a Monday, it wasn't that hard to secure a Zip car for the day, and so rightie headed off to work, and leftie and her mom headed north to Seattle for the day. Leftie was rocking a half-hearted Alex look, channeling a bit of her vibe without totally going all in, and her mom seemed perfectly happy with that.

For the first forty-five minutes of the drive, things were fine. She amused her mom by giving her a running commentary on what she was up to at work at the same time, which was actually pretty interesting because she was looking into the background for a new case, and it wasn't one of Peter's, but had come from Mark, who was actually nice. But then, as they neared the border between Oregon and Washington, things started to go wrong. Initially, it was just a bit of mild nausea, but a few minutes later she felt a sudden wave of dizziness wash over her. A moment later it was gone, but she worried that she might have eaten something bad, even if she couldn't think of what it might be. She'd have to keep an eye on it, in case it got worse. Meanwhile, she decided to go back to telling her mom about what was happening at work, and then she suddenly realized that she didn't know.

She was gripped by a rising sense of panic. She'd lost half of herself! What had happened to rightie? Where was she? Her memories of her morning at work, which had moments ago been so clear, were now a fuzzy mess, as if she hadn't been paying proper attention.

Her phone (the Alex phone) buzzed with a call, and she fumbled to answer it on the car's unfamiliar hands-free system. It was rightie.

“What have you done?! What have you done?! What have you done?!” rightie was repeating frantically.

“I don't know. I don't know. I think we're too far apart. I've lost you. I've lost you,” Mary replied, her own voice trembling. “I'm trying to get to an exit to turn around. Just hang on, okay?”

“Please be safe. Please be safe,” rightie pleaded.

“I need to focus. I'm doing this alone, so I need to focus. Maybe hang up and call back in a bit. I need to drive,” Mary replied, trying to steady her own nerves.

She'd pulled over to the right lane and kept willing an exit to appear, but it was several miles before the exit for State Route 432 came up, and she used it to turn around. Minutes more passed, and she wanted to floor the accelerator to cover the distance faster, but she knew she shouldn't take unnecessary risks. Soon she'd passed the point where the nausea had hit, but there was still just a yawning gap where her other half should have been. Oh, god.

Her mom had seen everything that had happened, but she kept quiet; she knew better than to insert herself in the middle of a crisis like this. There wasn't really anything she could do, at least for now.

“Oh-shit. Oh-shit. Oh-shit. Oh-shit,” she mumbled to herself under her breath as the miles passed and she got closer and closer to home, but there was still nothing, no connection. Her phone rang again.

“What's going on? Where are you?” said the panicked voice on the other end of the line.

“I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm 25 miles out now. I'm going home. I'm going home.” Tears were running down Mary's face, and she wiped them away so she could still see to drive.

“I'll go home too,” said her other self. ”Please, please, please be careful! I'll hang up now.” And the line went dead again.

“Would it be so bad to be two people?” her mom asked, unable to stay silent any longer.

What? Did she have no idea about anything? To be half a person? Mary supposed her mom, like just about everyone else on the planet, had absolutely no idea how diminished they all were, stumbling along with no support, not able to really think deeply about anything, not able to do two things at once.

“Yes, it would be bad, Mom,” she snapped at her mother. “You just have no idea.”

“But you could be Alex, and she could be Mary,” her mom replied, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation at all.

“I'm just me, Mom! Just me! Alex is just… you know, an act, a performance, a bit of fun I can have because I feel safe. And I feel safe because I have two bodies and a life that works. Because I have a safety net and the luxury of being able to play-act being someone else.”

She fell silent for a moment, trying to steady her breathing. “But now I've lost half of me. And I don't know if I can get it back. I don't know if I can be whole again.”

“You are whole, Alex. You are whole,” her mom replied gently. “You just have to believe it.”

“I'm not Alex! I'm Mary! Just Mary! Or at least half of Mary!” She was shouting now, tears streaming down her face. “And I don't know if I can be whole again! I don't know if I can be whole again!”

Her mother seemed shocked by the vehemence of her reply. At least it shut her up for the rest of the drive.

After a bit of frustratingly slow city driving, she got the Zip car back to its spot and left her mom far behind as she ran back to her apartment as quickly as she could. She burst through the door and into the living room where she found her other self curled up on the couch, rocking back and forth, clearly in distress. Mr. Pibb was standing guard nearby, looking concerned.

She touched the other Mary, and she turned, looking up with wide, terrified eyes. “Oh no; oh no; oh no,” rightie was repeating over and over. The connection wasn't there. The bond was broken. She was alone.

She grabbed her other self and held her tightly, losing herself to the same grief, and joining in with the mantra. “Oh no; oh no; oh no.”

They each reflexively stroked the back of each other’s heads, trying to comfort each other, but it was no use. The bond was gone, and they were each alone in their own bodies, with no connection to the other. The grief, which had been overwhelming, suddenly doubled. And… Wait… wait… it was back. She was back. The connection was back. She was whole again.

“Never again. Never again. Never again,” she chanted together, holding her bodies tightly, not wanting to let go ever again.

She opened rightie's eyes and saw her mom standing in the doorway, not wanting to intrude, probably having seen most of the drama, from her wailing to the reunion. “Mom, come in. It's okay now. We're… I'm back together again.”

“I'm so glad,” her mom replied, stepping into the room. “I… I don't think I really understood how important this was to you. I'm sorry for not getting it sooner.”

“I should have taken the day off,” Mary replied in unison. “I should never have tried to stretch myself so thin. I didn't know. I didn't know.”

Mary adjusted her position so that leftie was seated on the floor and rightie was on the couch directly behind her and began to massage leftie's shoulders, trying to soothe the tension out of her body. “It's okay now,” she said. “We're together again. I'm whole again.” She kissed the top of leftie's head gently. “I won't ever let me be apart like that again. I promise.”

Remembering not only the stress of the car journey, but also the horror at work, the tram ride home, and being afraid to make a third phone call in case somehow it caused an accident, Mary swapped places with herself and began to massage rightie's shoulders, too, trying to soothe the tension out of both bodies, saying more soothing words and giving another gentle kiss to the top of rightie's head.

“It's almost lunchtime,” Mom said, breaking the silence. “How about I make us something to eat? A sandwich or something light?”

“Sounds perfect,” Mary replied in unison. “Thank you, Mom.” She smiled at her mom, grateful for her presence and support.

Mary was still very shaken, but the food helped, and she even managed some light conversation, asking her mom about what had changed in her hometown since she'd last been there. It was a welcome distraction from the trauma of the morning.

Mom offered to make her famous pot roast for dinner that evening, and Mary gratefully accepted. It was nice to have something familiar and comforting to look forward to after the morning's events. Mom said she could go out and get the things she needed unassisted, and Mary was happy to let her go.

The moment she left, Mary headed for the shower. There was a lot of soapy affection in there, although no actual sex. Just two bodies enjoying being together again, washing each other carefully and tenderly, making sure every inch of skin was cleaned and cared for. It was a healing ritual, and it helped both bodies feel more whole again.

She was in her bath robes when her mom returned, carrying bags of groceries. Her mom gave her a knowing look. “I'm not even going to ask,” she said with a smile. “I can see you've been taking care of yourselves.”

Her faces tried to look innocent, but showed a bit of a blush, too. “Well, you know, when you've got two bodies, you have to take care of both of them,” Mary replied with a smile.

“I sort of wish I had that wishing stone still,” her mom said wistfully. “It does seem like you think being this way is a blessing, and maybe if I could, I'd give it a try myself.” And maybe she would, as being alone in New Jersey wasn't all that much fun even with her expansive circle of friends. She carefully didn't say that perhaps, based on how Mary had totally gone to pieces without her other half, it was also a bit of a curse as well. Even if she had another magic wishing stone, she thought she'd need to think very hard about it before she took the plunge into two-bodied existence.

Mary helped her mom put the groceries put away, and later on assisted with the pot roast. She probably overdid it in the whole symphony of coordination department; she just wanted to do all the things right now; to celebrate being whole again with everything that gave her. She insisted that for dinner, she have one big plate, one fork, and one glass, and just alternate between feeding her two bodies, which made her mom laugh. “I get it. Really. One person,” her mom said with a smile. “But it's still kind of funny to see it play out. You should probably just do that at home, you know.”

“Yes, Mom, I know,” Mary replied with a smile. “But it's nice to have you here to see it all.”

They wrapped up the day with another movie on the couch, Mary snuggling one body in her mom's lap and her other body curled up beside them snuggling Mr. Pibb. It was a cozy end to a difficult day, and Mary felt grateful for her mom's presence and support.

In bed at the end of the day, Mary cuddled herself tightly, feeling the warmth and comfort of being whole again. She was determined to never let herself be separated like that again. The thought of losing half of herself was too terrifying to contemplate. “Never again. Never again. Never again,” she muttered to herself as she drifted off to sleep, holding both bodies close.

---

Mom had only planned for a week, and so was scheduled to fly out early on the upcoming Sunday. Mary decided to take some vacation and sick time and just take the rest of the week off so she could have both bodies to spend time with her mom. They had a few more adventures together, including a trip to the Astoria Column, where they all got to climb to the top and then launch the balsa-wood gliders that were sold at the gift shop there and watch them swoop around and around before disappearing into the forest below.

For Pru (short for Prudence; the name Mary's mom went by when she wasn't being called Mom), those days cemented what she'd learned in the first two. That her daughter was different now, but in a way that made her truly special. She was in a very real sense whole in a way she just hadn't been ever since Alexandra had died. And that was a beautiful thing. And although Mary's Alex persona vanished in the first couple of days in the aftermath of Monday's trauma, by the end of the week, Mary was doing the double act again, albeit in a more low-key way than before. And it did feel a bit like Alexandra was back, even if it was only a shadow of what things might have been like if she'd lived. But it was still something. Something good.

Three weeks after her mom had left, Mary got a letter in the mail from her mom, sent as a registered letter. Inside was a Social Security card for “Alexandra Louise Murdoch” with a cryptic note from her mom:

“Don't even ask me how I managed to get this. Just… keep it safe. Love, Mom.”

The envelope still felt heavy in her hand, and she found that wedged inside it were two birth certificates: one for Mary and one for Alexandra. Mary had seen hers before, and really should have taken it when she left home. It was creased and a little grubby from being used for one reason or another over the years. Alexandra's was pristine; still obviously issued the same day as Mary's, but kept somewhere safe as a memorial to her lost sister. Mary felt a lump in her throat as she held them both in her hands. She didn't know if it was good that she couldn't remember the real twin she'd had, or sad. Probably both.

Even if “Alex” wasn't exactly real, having identity documents for a second body would make living in the world so much easier. From healthcare to travel, the world would relax if given the fiction that there were two individuals, not one person who happened to have two bodies. It was a bit of a cheat, but it was a necessary one.

And that's where we'll leave Mary for now. She's happy. She's exploring her creative side more, doing some things as “Alex”. She's closer to her mom than ever before. And she'd tell you that if you ever have a chance somehow, maybe a wishing stone, or, really, any other way, to get yourself another body, you should do it. Because having two bodies is way, way better than one.